Comments on: Sex after hysterectomy http://menopauselifestyle.com/blog/sex-after-hysterectomy/ Sun, 20 May 2012 02:36:26 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: MICHELL http://menopauselifestyle.com/blog/sex-after-hysterectomy/#comment-6218 MICHELL Mon, 12 Mar 2012 16:12:45 +0000 http://www.menopauselifestyle.com/blog/sex-after-hysterectomy/#comment-6218 Finally, someone said it! I would love more information on your website. I wish I would have had more information, or been more open to other alternatives before getting a total hysterectomy at the age of 42. It ruined me. We also need information on how to get our lives back without hormones, especially if we can not take them. Finally, someone said it! I would love more information on your website. I wish I would have had more information, or been more open to other alternatives before getting a total hysterectomy at the age of 42. It ruined me. We also need information on how to get our lives back without hormones, especially if we can not take them.

]]> By: Hanna http://menopauselifestyle.com/blog/sex-after-hysterectomy/#comment-4868 Hanna Fri, 10 Feb 2012 05:02:09 +0000 http://www.menopauselifestyle.com/blog/sex-after-hysterectomy/#comment-4868 I found this site in sheer desperation. I struggled with wanting to get pregnant but having a history of birth defect in my brother and a very real fear of having children. My marriage was not very stable and our socioeconomic situation was not so secure, although we both had jobs at the time. I had fibroids and no matter what my OB and I did with therapies they just kept getting bigger. I ended up waiting until I couldn't stand it anymore and went through an abdominal hysterectomy. I was in my late 30s. It was devastating to me, all hope of having children gone. Yet in the years to follow I learned that indeed the risks of my having a child with birth defects were significant because of a rare genetic X chromosome I carried. It has helped to come to terms with that, but I will always feel sad about not having a family. Not very long after I had the hysterectomy, my husband began acusing me of cheating on him (when that is the last thing that was on my mind!). He started acting very strange, demanding a divorce, and dating other women while was still living with me. This was the LAST thing I needed right after a hysterectomy. I was devastated. He was comparing me to others. I had NO support for my situation. We separated and divorced after 18 years of marriage. I became estranged from his family, as I guess they believe his accusations. I never cheated on him. I stuck with him through hard times. Now I am alone and struggling at the age of 56 to survive. I don't have anyone really in my life who understands the whole story of what happened, and instead take the easy route of blaming me, not knowing anything why I was reluctant to have children but desiring them at the same time. I don't know how to live a life like this. It is so difficult. People are so critical of me and I feel so alone. I long to feel just my femininity and the carefree way I once felt in my bones. I am afraid of men now in general and relationships and being hurt or misunderstood again. I do have a male friend who seems to accept me as I am and we are not romantically involved. Thank you for letting me vent. It just builds up and builds in me from time to time. I found this site in sheer desperation. I struggled with wanting to get pregnant but having a history of birth defect in my brother and a very real fear of having children. My marriage was not very stable and our socioeconomic situation was not so secure, although we both had jobs at the time. I had fibroids and no matter what my OB and I did with therapies they just kept getting bigger. I ended up waiting until I couldn’t stand it anymore and went through an abdominal hysterectomy. I was in my late 30s. It was devastating to me, all hope of having children gone. Yet in the years to follow I learned that indeed the risks of my having a child with birth defects were significant because of a rare genetic X chromosome I carried. It has helped to come to terms with that, but I will always feel sad about not having a family. Not very long after I had the hysterectomy, my husband began acusing me of cheating on him (when that is the last thing that was on my mind!). He started acting very strange, demanding a divorce, and dating other women while was still living with me. This was the LAST thing I needed right after a hysterectomy. I was devastated. He was comparing me to others. I had NO support for my situation. We separated and divorced after 18 years of marriage. I became estranged from his family, as I guess they believe his accusations. I never cheated on him. I stuck with him through hard times. Now I am alone and struggling at the age of 56 to survive. I don’t have anyone really in my life who understands the whole story of what happened, and instead take the easy route of blaming me, not knowing anything why I was reluctant to have children but desiring them at the same time. I don’t know how to live a life like this. It is so difficult. People are so critical of me and I feel so alone. I long to feel just my femininity and the carefree way I once felt in my bones. I am afraid of men now in general and relationships and being hurt or misunderstood again. I do have a male friend who seems to accept me as I am and we are not romantically involved. Thank you for letting me vent. It just builds up and builds in me from time to time.

]]> By: Joan http://menopauselifestyle.com/blog/sex-after-hysterectomy/#comment-694 Joan Mon, 03 May 2010 14:43:29 +0000 http://www.menopauselifestyle.com/blog/sex-after-hysterectomy/#comment-694 "Actually, about 75% of women find that their libido remains unchanged and 20% actually had increased sexual desire. " Are you quoting from the study in Norway that interviewed 409 women? If so, that study was full of holes and has been debunked. Hysterectomy destroys a womans sex life by;1) Severing all the nerves that supply sensation to the vagina, labia, clitoris. 2)Disrupting the blood supply to same.3) Removing the uterus is removing the biggest erogenous zone. 4)If ovaries were removed (castration) you have instant hormone loss that no synthetic hormone or herbal concoction can replace. Though your scenario would work with an intact woman who might be gun shy, it does not and will not work for a hysterectomised woman. How in the world does going through a hysterectomy strengthen the bond between couples? Is that some kind of sick sadistic kind of relationship? 'My husband loves me more since all my goods were yanked.' or 'Losing my uterus and sex drive and having my entire life destroyed has made my marriage stronger because now he has a real reason to b*tch.' ??? I'm almost 2 years post op. My marriage stinks because I can't have sex anymore. There was no real reason for these butchers to do this to me and I sometimes wish I would have died on the table. Please contact the HERS Foundation or browse my website to get information your not going to get from the Doctors. Once your sex drive is gone, with your uterus, nothing will bring it back. Your sex life will be a bitter memory and you'll live a life full of anger and pain after hysterectomy. “Actually, about 75% of women find that their libido remains unchanged and 20% actually had increased sexual desire. ”
Are you quoting from the study in Norway that interviewed 409 women? If so, that study was full of holes and has been debunked.
Hysterectomy destroys a womans sex life by;1) Severing all the nerves that supply sensation to the vagina, labia, clitoris. 2)Disrupting the blood supply to same.3) Removing the uterus is removing the biggest erogenous zone. 4)If ovaries were removed (castration) you have instant hormone loss that no synthetic hormone or herbal concoction can replace.

Though your scenario would work with an intact woman who might be gun shy, it does not and will not work for a hysterectomised woman.

How in the world does going through a hysterectomy strengthen the bond between couples? Is that some kind of sick sadistic kind of relationship? ‘My husband loves me more since all my goods were yanked.’ or ‘Losing my uterus and sex drive and having my entire life destroyed has made my marriage stronger because now he has a real reason to b*tch.’ ???

I’m almost 2 years post op. My marriage stinks because I can’t have sex anymore. There was no real reason for these butchers to do this to me and I sometimes wish I would have died on the table.

Please contact the HERS Foundation or browse my website to get information your not going to get from the Doctors.
Once your sex drive is gone, with your uterus, nothing will bring it back. Your sex life will be a bitter memory and you’ll live a life full of anger and pain after hysterectomy.

]]> By: strudders http://menopauselifestyle.com/blog/sex-after-hysterectomy/#comment-91 strudders Fri, 04 Sep 2009 22:33:23 +0000 http://www.menopauselifestyle.com/blog/sex-after-hysterectomy/#comment-91 hi bobbie sorry to hear the above. i know where i live it it not routine or even comon for them to do a ct125, can iask when you come from?as im from kent. got dianosed with endometriosis in oct last year at the age of 20 and i cant even have a smear test , yet some of the symtoms are quite alike. here we cant have smears till we are 25 thats another five years of worry.x hi bobbie sorry to hear the above.

i know where i live it it not routine or even comon for them to do a ct125, can iask when you come from?as im from kent.
got dianosed with endometriosis in oct last year at the age of 20 and i cant even have a smear test , yet some of the symtoms are quite alike. here we cant have smears till we are 25 thats another five years of worry.x

]]> By: Bobbi http://menopauselifestyle.com/blog/sex-after-hysterectomy/#comment-90 Bobbi Thu, 13 Aug 2009 20:17:33 +0000 http://www.menopauselifestyle.com/blog/sex-after-hysterectomy/#comment-90 I went to my doctor for a cyst on my right ovary. He did not offer me a ct125 test for cancer and insisted the cyst was most likely cancer and needed to be removed. He then proceeded to preform a total abdominal hysterectomy on me even though I said no to this procedure. My life ended that day. Hysterectomy is akin to male castration which is NOT a routine surgery as hysterectomy is. Why?? Why are we women taken advantage of and lied to as to hysterectomy and it's lasting effects? My doctor ruined my life and this happens every minute of every day. Please read 'The H Word' by Nora Coffey before making ANY decisions involving surgery. It is YOUR life. Protect it. I went to my doctor for a cyst on my right ovary. He did not offer me a ct125 test for cancer and insisted the cyst was most likely cancer and needed to be removed. He then proceeded to preform a total abdominal hysterectomy on me even though I said no to this procedure. My life ended that day. Hysterectomy is akin to male castration which is NOT a routine surgery as hysterectomy is. Why?? Why are we women taken advantage of and lied to as to hysterectomy and it’s lasting effects? My doctor ruined my life and this happens every minute of every day. Please read ‘The H Word’ by Nora Coffey before making ANY decisions involving surgery. It is YOUR life. Protect it.

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